Fictional Adventures and Boring Cooking

So. Hello everyone!

I’ve been busy lately. I know I’ve been saying that a lot but it’s true, I’m not just saying it so that you think I’m too good for you all. But work has kept me busy. Baking lots of things, being told I’m not allowed to do it, and then doing it anyway because no one else would do it. I’m still trying to get a job out at the mill, but that isn’t panning out like I hoped it would. I really hope I hear something soon, because it’s a great job and has great benefits. A friend of mine works for BNSF and I’ve considered getting a job there, but the one I was looking at would mean I would have to work in Minot, ND and from what I can tell it would be for three years or so, but I would work out of whitefish I guess. I don’t really know, I’ trying to get more information out of my friend, but he’s been off and on all day and it’s hard to have a conversation that way. It’s a better job than plum creek, but it would be hard to have a life while working there. From what I understand, you don’t get to move around as much for a while, and you are on call. Bryant and I have been talking about it. He’s convinced he will never see me. He will but there will be times when we will be apart for a period of time. I don’t know. Sometimes it feels like I’m not doing enough.

Other than work though, I’ve tried to start up writing again. It’s harder than I remember. I haven’t read a good fantasy novel in a while though. I’ve read a lot of H.P. Lovecraft and I love his work, but that’s not what I write about. I am waiting and waiting for payday so that I can go up to Bad Rock Books and see what they have. I have learned in my life to never walk into a bookstore broke. You stay all day and read, and then when the day is over but the book isn’t you have to leave it there and eventually you forget what page you are on, or someone else buys it, or something of that caliber and you feel robbed because you spent so much time with something and then it left you. Hmmm, kinda like real life. 

I don’t have a whole lot of work done on it yet. I have a loose outline but not much else. It has been so long since I read a actual fantasy book, it’s become a little absurd. 

So, I’m cooking a turkey. Why? Because I’m bored. Seriously, it’s the only reason. I made a broth out of chicken bullion, garlic salt, black pepper, lemon juice, and beer. I sprayed some butter flavored cooking spray on the top because my mum doesn’t have olive oil or canola. Hopefully it crisps how I want it too. Hopefully hopefully! 

BIRD! Cook faster! I want to take a picture of you!

Life, Rant

Stress and Anxiety

For those of you who don’t know, I am a very stressed person. Normally when I say this people get the impression that I don’t know what stress really is because I’m not really that old and that I’ll know more of it when I get older. This is so far from the truth.

I have grey hair. I’m 22 years old with grey hair from stress. And one of them is white! I remember a few short years ago (like 4) I was plucking grey and white hairs from my mum’s head. Now I have them. It must be contagious, the stupid things!

The fact that I get anxious about almost everything doesn’t help either. I am constantly worried. Sometimes I’m not worried about anything in particular, I’m just worried. Bryant calls me a worry wart all the time and it’s true. We all have some title that we don’t like and worry wart is mine.

Just learned the worry wart is actually one word, worrywart. There are just too many right side of the alphabet letters in that for me not to put a space there. My stress has been affecting my sleep lately, I have a million things that run through my mind; things I need to do, things I’ve done, things I regret, people I’ll never get to talk to again, the last things I ever said to those people, how if I’m not doing anything important with my life, so on and so forth.

I think it’s moderately funny that when I do have a job, I wish I could just go home and spend all day in bed, and then when the situation where I don’t have a job comes about all I want to do is work.

I always feel better after writing, or crocheting. However, it has been a pain to do either of those because of the CT. I’m just going to call it that. So BOO! on CT. BOOOO! My fancy magnet bracelet that Bryant bought for me isn’t working like it used too.