I’ve started a new job. I work at Plum Creek for MDF. It’s really hard work but it’s super fun. I make bank. My life is good.
I’ve got a new life starting up. I’ve got friends and family that care about me. And… my life is damn good.
But YOU! YOU ARE NOT APART OF THAT! YOU CAN GO SUCK A MILLION INFECTED COCKS YOU FUCK HEAD!
Now, to explain the third sentence.
For a very long time I was sure that a certain someone was out of my life. I’ve blocked them from the websites that I could, and refused calls and texts from them. But… I logged into Netflix tonight and it asked if I wanted to resume my viewing of “Orange is the New Black” and I stopped myself and thought.For those of you that don’t know, I don’t care for drama shows like that (or whatever it is) I read the story back in 2010/2011 and I wasn’t impressed. So, you can imagine my suprise when I go to my viewing activity and there are quite a few shows I HAVEN’T BEEN WATCHING! I’m not saying it was that person, but he’s the only person I know that would do that. He lives his life with the mentality that if he can get it out of you for free, then why not just take it from you. Why should he have to pay. He never paid rent, bills, or for food when we were together. When he did pay for something I’d certainly be guilted about it. That went on FOREVER! Well, it felt like forever. I paid for 7 months for him to just sit around and play video games and bitch about how hot it was.
But hell, do I miss his parents. He has a great set of parents, and in no way do I blame them for the way he turned out. They took us in, they fed us and they cared for us. As soon as getting our own place became a real thing and he was gonna have to start paying bills, the fucker split. I know somewhere along that line I became the bad guy in his story. But I wasn’t. It was my one rule that if you don’t want to be with me just say it, and boy did he say in. In front of the new girl’s house. Said it had been a while, said that I wasn’t the one for him… blah-de-fuckin-blah. Comes crying back to me the next day, about how sorry he was. I was pissed. I still kinda am. You don’t treat people like they have a hold button. I don’t stop existing just because you wanted to sleep with someone else. And I know this probably sounds like I’m making this up, but I’m not. I was hurt, more than I ever have in my life. And I’m mad that I let myself get hurt like that. I loved that man, more than he deserved and more than he knew. I wanted to make that shit work.
He kept texting after that… you’ve probably read that post (my loyal band of 12 followers) when I blew up at him then, to stop texting. And finally I had some peace. It was great. It was a great time…
Then this, I’ve dealt with shit from him on and off since then, but never something this intrusive. The woman at Netflix called him a dick (in the most polite and tactful way).
I’m happier without him. I am. I can say that and know that I know I am. But you can never get away from shit like your past if it keeps watching shows on your netflix account.
I know I’ve used some strong words here. I know that I am angry about the situation, and I will need to let it go completely someday. But the anger I have had towards the situation has motivated me to become a better person. Seek out a (extremely) well paying job, find a home with my amazing roommates who love me for who I am and all of my quirks, and be able to do the things I love in life again without being judged and mocked for them. I love what my life has become. This warm happy sunny bubble that I live in.
“Show me your garden, and I’ll tell you who you are.”